Finding a person online who intrigues you enough to pursue an online relationship is difficult. Once you have found that person, you need to revisit the age-old issues of developing that relationship. In many respects, some may say that online relationships are easier than in-person relationships. But, in reality, it is pretty much the same, just a little bit more removed. Dating tips are essentially the same, but they are a little more subtle than if you are face-to-face.
Safety
Even if the person sounds fantastic online, you must be aware that there are some people out there that are being all you want them to be, but with ulterior motives. The first piece of online dating advice is not to give the person on the other end any numbers like telephone or PINs regardless of how good they sound.
Be honest with yourself
Relationship advice is always a bit suspect because we are all a bit different. Dating advice from one person to another only reflects that one person giving the dating advice and not necessarily how it applies to you. Always take advice on dating and apply it, with modification, to who you are. Don’t fudge about who you truly are as it will only come back to haunt you later on.
Slow and steady
One dating tip for a quality online relationship is to take it slow. Some might more aptly call this dating tip the restriction of to-much-information (TMI.) You do not need to have an online relationship, develop 100 percent in one or two weeks. Let the personal information out slowly. A little mystery will go a long way to building the relationship.
Inflection
This particular piece of online dating advice is one item that requires a bit of work. Voice inflection when online is lost. Inflection is one of those things that we take for granted. Quite a bit of meaning is lost without it. If you are sarcastic, you can quickly lose somebody on the other end if they don’t know how the words are intended. This is one of the reasons that the LOL and smile face type notations have come about. The problem is, many people find these notations a bit “cutesy.” The online dating advice here is to use words to explain your inflection rather than symbols. So, if sarcastic, simply insert (sarcasm) into the text or use uppercase (OH BOY!!!) for very happy or (OH BOY) for can you believe what he did.
Conversation
Most people say that the art of conversation is dead. In a certain sense, this also applies to online dating. Using text abbreviations and assumptions makes online relationship building even more impersonal than it already is. This particular piece of online dating advice could be applied to regular relationship building as well. Use simple but descriptive whole worlds to describe what you are discussing. The right word will say quite a bit about who you are. For example, I like kayaking because the way the paddle slips into the calm water works better than paddling. You will come off as a bit more refined rather than just another person online.
Don’t impose
This is perhaps the hardest piece of advice for dating online to get used to. It is so easy to use a word that imposes a thought, belief, or need onto another person without knowing that you are doing it. If there is one thing that will stop an online relationship from dead in its tracks, it is imposing yourself on another. Once your online relationship progresses, you may loosen up a bit with this piece of relationship advice. But until then, always defer to the other person in the way you phrase a sentence. Make sure you make it known how you feel, but be sure that the wording reflects the other person’s ability to disagree or agree.
Be positive
Nobody likes a “gloomy Gus” when they get online. They don’t want to be in an ongoing relationship with such a person unless they happen to be a gloomy Gus. Stay upbeat when you are writing with your online friend. Sure, everybody has their down days, and that is fine to share. It shows that you are becoming comfortable with that person. If there starts to be a pattern, however, you may want to assess what is going on with yourself personally or with a friend but there is no need to share it online. If your assessment leads to a life change for the better, well, that is a great thing to share. Relationship advice or not, the good news is a turn-on for most.
Be open-ended
Just about everybody has heard the phrase “leave them wanting more.” This holds for online dating. You might think about your daily online conversations or your long-term relationships as a multi-course dinner. Always leave the person salivating for the next course. One of the better ways to do this is to ask a question or two that requires little thought or research. This will let them have something to bring to the table for your next conversation. This would also apply to you. Indicate that you will look into something and let them know what you find the next time you write.
Meeting for the first time
The big piece of online dating advice here is to meet in a busy place. All the online chat in the world won’t substitute for the first meeting and a true assessment. Try to stay relaxed. Listen, but be able to carry the conversation. Stick to areas where you can find help quickly. Call me a bit of a cynic but safety first.
Be yourself
How many times have you heard that one? Fortunately or not, the statement does ring particularly true for online relationships. A certain amount of “you” will seep into the online relationship whether you like it or not, but try being true to yourself all the time. Faking who you are will doom the relationship unless you didn’t want an online relationship in the first place. If you swear quite a bit in life, go for it (just use symbols to not offend too much.), if you happen to be one of those folks that dots their “I’s” with a heart, go for that as well. Be who you are, and the need for online relationship advice will go away fairly fast.
